An Everlasting Springtime

everlasting-springtime

I’ve been a UT student for twelve years. Well, not really – but I have been coming to the UT campus for twelve years. Either one or both of my parents have worked at UT since I was seven, so this place has pretty much been a part of my life since I can remember. This means that as a freshmen, I came in feeling anything but fresh. Sometimes I feel the same way about God.

God has been part of the equation since I was born. In fact, my parents served as missionaries in Russia up until my mom got pregnant with me, so, technically , God has been a part of the equation since before I was born. So, as a freshman, away from my parents for the first time, I was finally forced to actually choose God. SPOILER ALERT: I totally suck at choosing God.

My dad was part of CSOC before there was even a cool acronym for the club, probably before there were cool t-shirts and definitely before there were cool events like Freshman Connect. Back in those days, the Bible camp I was in would stuff and seal envelopes (I know, envelopes) to tell freshmen about the club. There weren’t tweets or posts or emails. But still, even with all the sleek new updates that the CSOC of 2015 offered, I pretty instantly began struggling with experiencing God for myself. And that made my first year at UT a constant battle between my very prominent tendency to not choose God and the quiet voice telling me that I should go to every Jesus-related event I could go to.

Honestly, at first it felt like that quiet voice was losing. And by “at first” I mean for basically my entire first semester of college, maybe even most of my second. As low as I was, though, there was one very big thing that saved me: building relationships with people who loved Christ.

Growing up, even though I had always been surrounded by other Christians at church and in Bible studies and Bible camps, I didn’t really have any close Christian friends. I went into college assuming that it would be the same. Really, my game plan was to go to some CSOC events and then leave those people there, compartmentalized. But I realized almost instantly that that needed to change.

A few weeks into my first semester, I was talking to my dad about how down I felt and how faraway God seemed. I didn’t understand why I felt that way and I didn’t know how I could go on when Jesus was becoming less and less real to me. I assumed my dad wouldn’t understand because, of course, in my eyes he’s one of those “on-fire Christians” who never ever stops feeling the presence of God. But he did, and in response he told me, “Janessa, you need to surround yourself with other believers. Because when you’re in your wintertime, there will always be someone experiencing their springtime, and that will strengthen you.”

After hearing that, I didn’t necessarily experience a total instantaneous transformation. It was still hard to motivate myself to take advantage of the weekly opportunities that God provided for me to gain Him. But it did change my mindset. Afterwards, every time I would think about not going to something, I would realize how desperate I was to get a taste of that springtime. My constant prayer was, “Lord, make Yourself real to me. I want You to be my God.” Slowly, I started building those relationships with other believers and, even more miraculously, realizing that God had planted several people at my job and in my classes who were also believers. God just needed me to turn to Him, and to continue turning to Him, to show me that He was there. He had always been (and always will be) there.

Every week is a struggle for all of us. Being a college student means you have about 85,894 hours of commitments and homework and social engagements a week, but when it comes down to it, giving up a few of those hours to be strengthened by companions in Christ is beyond worth it. Among the people of God is an everlasting springtime.

By: Janessa Lynch